The Truth About Anorexia

This past February, my French class talked about the death of Ana Carolina Reston, the Brazilian model who died of anorexia nervosa. When I began to express my opinion, my French teacher responded with something to the effect of, "you're a boy-you wouldn't understand." As an actual survivor of anorexia, though, I do understand. It is sad how few people here at Columbia and around the country actually realize that men suffer from eating disorders just like women. In fact, according to the National Eating Disorders Association, as many as one million men suffer from eating disorders, and according to the National Institutes of Health this number is on the rise. While the fact that people are unaware of this truth is quite upsetting, it is even more troubling that this particular ignorance is only one example of how little people know or understand about eating disorders.

From what I've observed on campus, at home, and in the media, the public stigmatizes those who suffer with eating disorders. Victims are labeled as over-privileged princes or princesses who are either just looking for more attention or think that weighing close to nothing looks attractive. At least once a week, I hear jokes that mock sufferers' fears of gaining weight as stupid concerns associated with vanity or popularity. As I know from my experience dealing with this disease, this stigma is a very poor misconception.

The truth is that anorexia is an obsession, in which a person really disregards the factors of looking "good," health, social status, or attention. When I had my eating disorder between eighth and ninth grades, I forgot about all of the things that a typical thirteen-year-old guy cares about-sports, girls, video games, and movies became irrelevant in my life. The only thing that mattered to me was winning the impossible battle of staying incredibly thin. What movie I was watching didn't matter to me. What mattered was the next time I could begin to ease my hunger by taking thirty minutes to eat an apple. I calculated my day's caloric intake-which was about 1,000 to 1,200 calories, about half of what the normal kid my age should have been eating-multiple times a day. Every night I worried myself sick that I had eaten something with more calories than I had calculated. "Maybe that chicken breast was actually cooked in butter," I'd say to myself, "which means it had more calories, which means I might gain weight, which means I would lose all my progress." I would worry and dread gaining weight throughout the night. Deep down, I knew that I looked horrible-I went from 140 pounds in June of 2002 to about 100 in September of the same year. My parents told me I was too thin, my friends told me I looked sick. Some people believed that I had cancer. But that didn't matter. Nothing really mattered but staying thin and getting thinner.

Why did I contract anorexia nervosa? The truth is that I really do not know. According to NEDA, people who suffer from eating disorders sometimes "use food and the control of food in an attempt to compensate for feelings and emotions that may otherwise seem overwhelming," or as a mechanism "to feel in control of one's life." These seem like probable explanations. Personally, I felt very pressured by my parents, who were not only very "health conscious" but also pushing me to get into a very selective private high school. This pressure boiled up inside me and caused me to become obsessed with getting and staying thin, something I believed I could control and that would please my parents.

Though I survived with the aid of my family, friends, and teachers who helped me through two and a half difficult years of high school, I nonetheless remain saddened by the disgusting stigma that is still associated with disease. This bias is the reason why I am afraid to put my name on this article. In addition to the social perception that those who suffer from eating disorders are just vain rich kids, t here is also a possible professional consequence of being associated with anorexia. When I applied to Columbia, for example, I was stridently warned by my college counselor not to mention my eating disorder, as that would hurt my chances of acceptance.

If you know someone who may have an eating disorder, please do not jump to the false conclusion that he or she is just some vain, rich kid looking for attention or a higher social status. Realize and understand that he or she is suffering from a real disease, which, according to NEDA, "has the highest premature fatality rate of any mental illness." There are ways to help those suffering. Though you cannot force someone to recognize that they are under the influence of an obsession, you can be honest with your friends and alert that person's parents. Even though I had to realize myself that I was obsessed and accept that I needed help, I was greatly influenced by the actions my parents and friends took to help me. If you take action too, you may be saving someone's life.

For health reasons, the author wishes to remain anonymous. For more information on eating disorders and ways to help those suffering, visit http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org.