MOHANKA: Finding our own Lord Voldemort

Lord Voldemort—he-who-must-not-be-named, if you’re scared—used to make my blood boil. So did the Joker in “The Dark Knight.” There was this intangible aspect to these villains that made them special—they seemed to just enjoy chaos as an end in itself. So, I really enjoyed watching them fail to achieve their goals.

Villains tend to thicken a plot and capture attention. The world of sports also has these hateable characters. They’re also often the ones that their fans love the most.
In these parts, off the top of my head, there’s the infamous O.J. Simpson, the too-busy-with-sexual-assault-trials Ben Roethlisberger, the arrogant Kobe Bryant, the jerk Kurt Busch, and of course, the maker of the famous decision, LeBron James. Looking across the pond, there’s the arrogant, unfaithful (on and off the field), and full-of-himself Cristiano Ronaldo. There’s Manchester City’s Mario Balotelli, who is convinced that he’s god’s gift to mankind and is cockier than words can describe. And there’s the Portuguese tactician, José Mourinho, who is so obnoxious and disrespectful to opponents that it’s just lovely to hate him.

While I don’t want to promote hating college athletes—they’re really too young to invite wrath, and other than Patrick Witt, they seem quite decent in general since success hasn’t gotten to their heads yet—there is someone in our conference that I think we can, and should, hate: Harvard men’s basketball coach Tommy Amaker.

Coach Amaker is treated like the cat’s whiskers. You have to break your back for even a chance at an interview if you’re a lowly Ivy League newspaper. He’s achieving great results, but he’s had a journey to scandaltown. The New York Times reported in 2008 that Amaker, in recruiting top-tier talent at Harvard, was guilty of unethical practices and breaking NCAA rules. He recruited players with academic standards that Yale coach James Jones said he couldn’t go near. He had friends of his who were not employed at Harvard at the time speak to potential recruits and sell the idea of the Crimson. He also approached potential recruits at times other than those the NCAA allows. I reckon that’s reason enough to hate him.

There’s another aspect of villains that keeps me interested: Their rivalries with the good guys. The Dark Knight hated the Joker. Harry despised Voldemort. These rivalries are also a big part of sports.

In India, the entire country—yes, basically all one billion and some—comes to a standstill when there’s a cricket match against Pakistan. There’s no greater joy in Indian sports than a triumph against the noisy neighbors.

In England—the home of the English Premier League—every team has at least one major rival. My team, Liverpool Football Club, has two: neighbors Everton, and of course, Manchester United. Historically, Manchester United and Liverpool have been the two most successful teams in English football. This past weekend, Liverpool beat United and I felt a sense of satisfaction that really no other win brings.

Here in Morningside Heights, our good guy has to be the Light Blue, so now I need to find us a bad guy.

My fellow columnist Michele Cleary wrote months ago that we could make an honest rival out of Princeton, but I don’t think I agree. First, I don’t really hate anything about Princeton, and second, they’ve won far more Ivy titles in the last decade than any other team. I’d rather we use our hatred of Monsieur Amaker and make those folks from Cambridge our biggest nemesis.

I want to manage expectations, though. The 18-2 Harvard basketball team is a juggernaut this year, and really hard to beat. But if the athletic department can promote the idea of this Columbia-Harvard rivalry, and maybe send a fan bus up to Lavietes Pavilion, the intensity of traveling fans’ passions may do wonders. There are no guarantees, but let’s be honest—stranger things have happened in sport.

Mrinal Mohanka is a Columbia College senior majoring in economics. He is a former Spectator sports editor.
sports@columbiaspectator.com